The Exchange
by TheDarkWingedAngel
Summary: The exchange of words of our favorite Durarara characters over Shizuo and Izaya's stay on a hotel. In denial! Izaya, Devil's Advocate! Kida.


**Title:** The Exchange  
**Rating:**T  
**Pairing**: Shizuo x Izaya (( **Shizaya** ))  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own Durarara.  
**Plot**: The exchange of words of our favorite Durarara characters over Shizuo and Izaya's stay on a hotel. In denial! Izaya, Devil's Advocate! Kida.  
**Words**: 6000+

**THIS STORY CONTAINS MALExMALE RELATIONSHIPS.**

* * *

_Dedicated to my beta,_**_ezzelin_**_._

_I'm glad you enjoyed reading it._

* * *

_I would like to thank my beta,**ezzelin**._

_She's an angel; she helped me made it better._

_I don't know what I'll do without her._

* * *

_Due to an unfortunate circumstance Shizuo and his very unwilling partner, Izaya are forced to share a hotel room._

* * *

**Bastard,**

It may seem unusual for me to address you this way but the fact that you've forced me in this situation is enough for me to hold grudges against you. I've known you for years now, so much. I knew there is something more to this fiasco than you've letting me on. That is why while I could still hold my patience I would really appreciate it if you explain this nonsense to me.

**I hate you,**

**Izaya Orihara**

-o-

**Orihara-san,**

I'm surprised and clearly troubled, my friend, for I believe I am innocent and I bear no guilt to whatever misfortune you are now facing at.

**I don't care,**

**Shiki**

-o-**  
**

**Mongrel,**

I believe you do know what I'm talking about.

**Die,**

**Izaya**

-o-**  
**

**Orihara-san,**

I will forgive you for addressing me like that, for today. Seeing as whatever you claimed I did really did tick you off. However forgive me but I seem to have no idea what you're talking about.

**After you,**

**Shiki**

-o-**  
**

**Shiki-san,**

Very well, I will entertain this momentary ignorance of yours; however I will not apologize until you are not proven innocent.

Due to an unfortunate circumstance the _amphibian_ and I now found ourselves forced to share a room for a month, we – or more like_I_ did, cause every time Shizu-chan sees the receptionist he just can't help but get pissed off – tried to negotiate, of course but the said receptionist and also the management refused counseling.

**Izaya**

-o-**  
**

**Orihara-san,**

I deeply apologize or more like sympathize with you for having been forced into such a situation, but I won't lie that I am clearly amused by what I found out. You really are an interesting person.

**Shiki**

-o-**  
**

**Shinra,**

Kindly leash your dog; else I would be forced to hunt you all the way from where I'm typing right now to your underground compound.

**Izaya**

-o-**  
**

**Izaya,**

Forgive me but I do not seem to recall acquiring any domesticated animal or some kind.

Might I add that Celty didn't like the threat you've added in the end.

**Shinra-Loves-Celty**

-o-**  
**

**Stupid,**

Kindly put the Dullahan out of this. The monster, I was talking about your own client, who else? The blasted Neanderthal, of course.

Change the signature, it disgusts me.

**Orihara**

-o-**  
**

**Izaya-chan,**

What Shizuo did to you in _bed_ is none of my concern, if you have complains regarding your _nocturnal activities_ with the man then kindly tell them to the said man, not us.

**Thank you,**

**Kishitani**

-o-**  
**

**Soon-to-be-dead Kishitani,**

I refuse to acknowledge the fact that you implied the Neanderthal did something to me in bed but do not be too comfortable, for once our mission is done you will surely be dead.

Also, I would love to inform you as the idiot's contractor that said hoodlum destroyed my phone two days prior our stay in the hotel and being the contractor of the said idiot, you are liable to what the man did. No extension.

I expect half of the payment for my destroyed phone two days from now.

**Izaya**

-o-**  
**

**Shizuo,**

I heard what you did to Izaya's phone, on normal occasions I would have beamed at you for a good accomplishment but this occurrence is an exception. Kindly please do not forget that as your contractor I am also half responsible for the financial damages you are doing.

**Shinra**

-o-**  
**

**Text: Shinra,**

_S o r i ' b o u t d a m e s ._

**Shizuo**

-o-**  
**

**Letter: Flea,**

Heard u told Shinra wut happened 2 ur phone. U filty son-of-a-b. I'm going 2 get u 4 dat.

**Shizuo**

-o-**  
**

**Letter: Chicken,**

The new nickname suits you, since you scrawl like one. I cannot believe you really managed to pass High School with an academic capability like that.

And for your information, you overgrown-gorilla—its Shinra's right to know what you did to my phone. So if you're complaining about it, call your own contractor.

You should be grateful I have my laptop with me else you would be forced to buy a new one by the time you destroyed it, ingrate.

**Handsome**

-o-**  
**

**Shiki-bastard,**

I hate you.

**Izaya**

-o-**  
**

**Ingrate,**

As long as you're there I don't care what you feel for me. Just do the job and return here.

**Your God**

-o-**  
**

**Fucker,**

I talked to the receptionist again. Guess what I found? The hotel _'arrangement'_is indeed _'arranged'_, under the name Shiki and Shinra.

Is it only a coincidence or do I really know these two people?

**Izaya**

-o-**  
**

**My Slave,**

You're crossing the limit. You've cursed me yet again, that's thrice a week now.

I think the names are purely coincidental, seeing as we; Kishitani and I – wouldn't under any circumstances travel to that rocky part of the village.

**P.S**

Of course it was arranged, after all hotel _'arrangement'_ does come from the word _'arrange'_.

**Your master**

-o-**  
**

**Dumb Master,**

I can curse you for all I want; also you could eat your garbage now because I refuse to believe you.

**Izaya**

-o-**  
**

**Shizuo,**

I apologize; I failed to meet Izaya's due date. I hope he didn't do something uneventful to you.

**Shinra**

-o-**  
**

**Shinra,**

The fcker dstroyed ma phone! !#$!#$#$ asdfasdewopioioioighgh!

**Shizuo**

-o-**  
**

**Izaya,**

_**Go 2 hell!**_

**Shizuo**

-o-**  
**

**Shizuo,**

I thought you already knew but I'm already there!

**Izaya**

-o-**  
**

**Shizuo,**

If your phone is already destroyed then what are you using right now?

**Shinra**

-o-**  
**

**Shinra,**

Laptop frm Ksuka.

**Shizuo**

-o-**  
**

**Orihara Izaya,**

What are these phone calls I'm receiving from the Hotel Management regarding the troubles both you mongrels caused?

**Enraged Shiki**

-o-**  
**

**Shizuo and Izaya,**

Kindly keep the damages to a minimum.

**Shinra**

-o-**  
**

**Shiki,**

It's our payback for locking us here! Deal with it like a man!

**Izaya**

-o-**  
**

**Izaya Heiwajima,**

Hey bro, I heard you and Shizuo-san are now living with each other. I knew it.

**Cute-me-Mayuri**

-o-**  
**

**Brother,**

The rumor caught our attention, can't help but wonder; who's bottom?

**Kururi**

-o-**  
**

**Annoying Brat,**

Whoever told you that piece of information is lying; I am nowhere near living with that thick skulled homo-sapien. Now leave me be. I'll ignore the address name, for now.

**Handsome Brother,**

**Izaya**

-o-

**Kururi,**

There's no bottom and if there was, I'm sure as hell it won't be me.

**Izaya**

-o-

**Bottom Izaya,**

It's not a lie – Erika san told me it's the truth. You shouldn't be shy about it. I'm sure being Shizuo-san's bitch has its advantages.

**Mayuri**

-o-

**Brother,**

Highly doubtful.

**Kururi**

-o-

**Shizuo and Izaya,**

Heya! Congratulations on your wedding.

**Erika**

-o-

**Erika-chan,**

Remind me that I'll kill you after this, kay?

**Izaya**

-o-

**Mayuri,**

I'm not Shizuo's bitch. Why is everyone so wrapped up with me being the bottom?

**Izaya**

-o-

**Kururi,**

It's the truth, you shouldn't doubt it.

**Izaya**

-o-

**Izaya,**

Wow, I can't believe you could still reply to my messages even with Shizuo-san doing you! Keep going, Iza-Iza! You can do it!

**Erika**

-o-

**Re: Izaya,**

I can't believe you didn't see the signs.

**Shinra**

-o-

**Re: Slave,**

You definitely are bottom, do not doubt it.

**Your master**

-o-

**Re: Flea**

You definitely will be; and 'cause it's obvious.

**Shizuo**

-o-

**Mayuri,**

Did you just forward my last message? You!

**Izaya**

-o-

**Shinra,**

I refuse to look through your lenses, for I fear whatever I could see on them.

**Izaya**

-o-

**Erika,**

No one is doing me and we both know it.

**Izaya**

-o-

**Uke-of-Akabayashi,**

Just because you are doesn't mean I am too.

**Uke-of-no-one**

-o-

**Neanderthal,**

Did you just do what I think you did? I can't believe you slapped my butt at the hallways of all places!

I will not, not now and not ever. What obvious?

**Genius**

-o-

**Izaya,**

What message, brother? d(0/\0)b

**Mayuri**

-o-

**Izaya,**

You should try for once; I'll tell you its secrets if you do.

In fact I could tell you now! Don't you know that ***Censored!***

**Shinra**

-o-

**Iza-Iza,**

So you're doing it with your hands today? Where is Shizuo-san? He shouldn't- oh wait. You mean he's waiting you do it yourself? I never knew! Do hurry up please so you could tell me the details!

**Erika**

-o-

**Ma-uke,**

I just can't resist- it's calling me in

You will- one day.

That you're fuckable?

**Shizuo**

-o-

**Letter: Heiwajima-san's uke,**

Leave the old man out of this, Orihara-san.

You do know that denial isn't good for your health, right?

**Shiki**

-o-

**Re: Izaya,**

Sorry for the late reply, had been busy with the store.

You shouldn't lie, my friend. Lying isn't good for the body and the brain. If you want you could try Ootoro and Sushi- Sushi is good for the body.

**Simon**

-o-

**Re: Izaya-kun,**

I knew it, haven't I told you? Haha... I would really love to visit you right now but I just can't. Just give my regards to Heiwajima-san, kay?

**Kida**

-o-

**Pervert,**

You know if you wanted to see me naked you could have asked, right?

I would have gladly taken a shower with you.

You didn't have to sneak in like that while I'm in the shower.

I'll just read the comment 'fuckable' as 'handsome' instead...

**Izaya**

-o-

**Kida,**

Yes, I believe you are too busy doing Ryugamine-kun. Give the guy some rest, will you?

**Izaya**

-o-

**Mayuri,**

Last message about me being bottom

**Izaya**

-o-

**Simon,**

I'm not lying. Informants never lie.

Thanks for the offer, but I think I'll pass this month. I doubt the Ootoro will be fresh before it reaches here.

**Izaya**

-o-

**Letter: Shiki,**

I'm surprised I received a _letter_ instead of an _E-mail_. What happened to you?

What is that stai- never mind. Forget I asked. I don't think I should know.

**Izaya**

-o-

**Dota-chin,**

Please keep Erika-san away from the computer. She's bugging me.

**Izaya**

-o-**  
**

**Shinra,**

Thanks but no thanks. I've had enough imagining.

**Izaya**

-o-

**Izaya,**

You really are an informant...

He's sleeping now.

Don't change the subject, Izaya - this is not about me and Mikado, this is about you. So tell me – how far have you and Heiwajima gone now?

**Kida**

-o-

**Izaya,**

I'll leave you at that – for now.

Too bad then, I guess you'll just have to make up for the Ootoro you've missed when you get here.

**Simon**

-o-

**Letter: Izaya,**

Akabayashi is currently hiding my laptop out of sight. Damn bastard. Keep your mind out of the gutter, kid. It's just vanilla cream.

**Shiki**

-o-

**Izaya,**

Please do not call me that.

I think that taking the computer away won't help at all. She's hopeless already.

**Kadota**

-o-

**Louse,**

Do you want to go out for a dinner after the latest investigation? My treat.

**Shizuo**

-o-

**Izaya,**

You're so bottom, nothing can change that.

**Mayuri**

-o-

**Shizu-chan,**

Stupid, we really are going out considering that according to you none of us could cook for ourselves.

Although I know I could I always feel you hesitate eating the dishes I make. .

**Izaya**

-o-

**Dota-chin,**

_Dota-chin_ totally suits you.

I'm glad someone agreed with me for once.

**Izaya**

-o-

**Kida,**

As if he'll ever get a piece of _moi_. No type of wine or liquor could ever make me submit to him.

**Izaya**

-o-

**Letter: Shiki**

And I bet that cream is used anywhere _but_baking.

You and Akabayashi-san's methods are very interesting; however, I really think I would benefit a lot if both of you kept me in the shadows regarding your..._activities_.

**Izaya**

-o-

**Brat,**

The next time I will see you will be on your funeral.

**Izaya**

-o-

**Izaya,**

And when will that be?

After you give your virginity to Heiwajima-san? Please do. After that I'll talk to my new brother-in-law so that I could convince him to make you forgive me.

**Mayuri**

-o-

**Izaya,**

_Are you willing to bet on it?_

I'm sure Heiwajima-san could help you change your mind regarding that – considering that he had been a barman once. I heard he knows a lot in bartending too. You sure nothing could change your mind? **XD**

**Kida**

-o-

**Heiwajima-san****,**

Greetings. I'm not sure if you already know me. I was once an accomplice of Izaya.

It has come into my attention that you and him are now living together.

I'm giving you my regards for this matter. I do hope you'd finally get the in-denial queen's _first_, considering that all he does is bitch about being unloved.

Don't you know that he told me he was willing to bet that no type of liquor or drinks could make him change his mind about being bottom?

I heard you became a barman once, I'm sure you could make him change your mind. I believe in you.

I do hope this information helped you a lot.

**Kida Masaomi**

-o-

**Kid,**

You know if you want I could storm all the way from Ikebukuro to your place just so I could finally force your supposed lover to make his first move.

Sure the denial thing sounds very cute and interesting at first but the longer it takes the more annoying it gets. Why don't you just do the world a favor and strip in front of the man? I bet he'd fuck you after that.

**Unknown Email,**

**Akabayashi**

-o-

**Izaya,**

I refuse to apologize for what the old man said because I somehow agree with his words.

**Shiki**

-o-

**Louse,**

I think we'll have no choice but to change our schedule a little. Why don't we have a little fun after dinner? I'd show you my bartending skills.

**Shizuo**

-o-

**Bitch,**

If there's someone who'll be losing their virginity it won't be me. It'll be the protozoan.

**Izaya**

-o-

**Kida,**

In fact, I've already had a few tastes. I admit that his drinks aren't that bad. Truth is I love most of them – kindly do not tell this to the monster.

**Izaya**

-o-

**Kida-san,**

You can call me Shizuo if you want.

I would like 2 thank for your help. It gave me a lot of ideas.

**Shizuo**

-o-

**Shiki,**

Of course, since when do you fight when it concerns him?

**Izaya**

-o-

**Akabayashi-san,**

I would deeply appreciate it if you could shake that protozoan's head a little – not for the reason you wanted to happen but so he could finally realize that I would never become his bitch anytime soon.

**Izaya**

-o-

**Kid,**

That's it. I give up on you, you're hopeless. Just tell us when you've finally past the denial state.

**Akabayashi**

-o-

**I****zaya,**

I've fought him a lot of times; in fact I do believe we always fight. Be it about sex or Awakusu-kai. He's annoying and stubborn like that.

**Shiki**

-o-

**Izaya,**

So why don't you do him already? If I were you I'd no longer resist. What do you mean _tell_? I aint telling nobody about anything!

**Kida**

-o-

**Shizuo,**

It's nothing, it's about time someone whips up that man's ass and goes fuck him in a corner.

**Kida**

-o-

**Brother,**

There you go again about being the dominant part in your relationship.

That's it. I'm leaving you to your misery now.

_Ciao_

**Mayuri**

-o-

**Flea,**

Don't forget our dinner tonight.

**Shizuo**

-o-

**Flea,**

Don't chicken out of our fun again. You did that last time.

**Shizuo**

-o-**  
**

**Bastard,**

You spiked my drinks on purpose didn't you? When I woke up I felt so sticky! Damn, _what did you do_?

**Izaya**

-o-**  
**

**Kida,**

Did Ryugamine-kun know you said that? I think you should let him know. I know. I'll tell him, just so I could see his face; _I bet it would be priceless_.

I sensed that you've been sending him mails lately. If you want I could hack your mails just to prove it.

**Izaya**

-o-**  
**

**Shiki,**

_Die._

**Izaya**

-o-**  
**

**Izaya,**

It's your fault for asking in the first place.

**Shiki**

-o-**  
**

**Izaya,**

I'll kill you if you do that. You know you shouldn't resort to those things right? If you want why don't you just ask Heiwajima-san?

**Kida**

-o-

**Flea,**

I did warn you that they're stronger than the last, didn't I? Why? Afraid?

It's best if you don't found out, yet. True you are kind of cute when you're docile but I prefer you when you're conscious... ;;}}

Don't chicken out again or you'll be receiving a more severe _punishment_.

**Shizuo**

-o-**  
**

**Neanderthal,**

Damn it! What did you put last night in my drink? I can't believe I can't remember what you did!

**Izaya**

-o-**  
**

**Kida,**

Damn you for giving him ideas, look what he did _last night_!

**Izaya**

-o-**  
**

**Izaya,**

Did he finally?**XD**

**Kida**

-o-**  
**

**Kida,**

I'm not sure but my arse did hurt and I have trouble moving around. Damn that man, I'll file him for rape!

**Izaya**

-o-**  
**

**Ma-uke,**

I dunno wut ur talking bout .

All I know is that you really were wild last night... ;;}}

**Ur-seme**

-o-**  
**

**Re: Izaya,**

He finally? Congrats!

**Mayuri**

-o-**  
**

**Re: Izaya,**

You loved it. I'm sure you did.

**Kida**

-o-**  
**

**Re: Izaya**

Finally, I congratulate you.

**Simon**

-o-**  
**

**Izaya,**

I heard Shizuo finally made his move. It's about time.

**Shinra**

-o-**  
**

**Re: Izaya,**

First time's a pain. Don' worry, brat. You'll get used to it.

**Shiki**

-o-**  
**

**Re: Izaya,**

I certainly didn't expect you to be this bold over what he did to you, to have the guts to tell it to everyone. Either way, I congratulate you.

**Akabayashi**

-o-**  
**

**Re; Iza-Iza,**

Finally you've been marked! What does your first feels like? Did he use oil? Or maybe wine or something likes that since he was once a barman. Was he rough? Oh my god! I forgot you are a sadist, I bet you're a masochist too! asdfadf

**Erika**

-o-**  
**

**Flea,**

You looked stunning last night, red really does suit you.

**Shizuo**

-o-**  
**

**Days later**

-o-**  
**

**Izaya,**

Damn it.

Shizuo seems to be having too much fun with you.

When you're done having your brains fucked out of your head kindly go to

**_*insert address*_**

We'll be waiting there.

**Kida**

* * *

**Chat box.**

**- BlondisYellow logged in.**

**- YaoiLover logged in.**

**- MadScientist logged in.**

**- Shadow logged in.**

**- Monta logged in.**

**- Shiki logged in.**

**- SushiSGood logged in.**

**BlondisYellow**: Kindly introduce yourselves, please

**YaoiLover**: Erika here.

**SushiSGood**: Sushi, everyone?

**Monta**: Kadota on the house.

**MadScientist**: Shiki

**Shadow**: Celty

**BlondisYellow**: Kida here

**YaoiLover**: Iza-Iza hasn't replied to my mails yet.

**MadScientist**: I think he's busy with Shizuo, at the moment.

**Shiki**: I don't care, as long as he's doing the task given to him, they could do whatever they like.

**BlondisYellow**: I bet he's so bottom in their relationship.

**MayuMayu**: Mayuri here.

**MayuMayu**: Of course he is.

**MayuMayu**: As if he could ever become top.

**- TiredasFuck logged in.**

**TiredasFuck**: Izaya here

**BlondisYellow**: Finally!

**YaoiLover**: Hello, Iza-Iza.

**MadScientist**: Yo.

**SushiSGood**: Want sushi?

**Monta**: I wonder...

**Shiki**: My slave.

**- Semesrule logged in.**

**Semesrule:**Hello guys… Shizuo here.

**TiredasFuck**: Shit, what are you doing here?

**Semesrule**: I have an invitation flea. Problem?

**TiredasFuck**: I knew it. You guys have been talking about this behind my back all along, weren't you?

**BlondisYellow**: I refuse to comment.

**Semesrule**: Man, you're just so cute.

**Semesrule:** Out to get u.

**TiredasFuck**: What? Wait!

**- Seme logged out.**

**TiredasFuck**: Damn it! Asldfjkadfksdfjadslkf

**TiredasFuck**: Aslkdfj9wutw092135wdo vma' va

**YaoiLover**: Oh my! I think they are going at it again!

**Shiki**: Heiwajima-san sure is insatiable.

**Monta**: Dude, get a room.

**MadScientist**: This information could be important for future preferences.

**MayuMayu**: Have fun!

**TiredasFuck**: Get this thing off me!

**TiredasFuck**: **Shizuo**: We're off. Bye!

**- TiredasFuck logged out.**

**MayuMayu**: That sure was fast…

**BlondisYellow**: I can't wait for their return.

**Monta**: I can't believe this…

**MadScientist**: I guess Shizuo's strength doesn't only work in fights, huh?

**Shiki**: I sympathize with the poor guy.

**BlondisYellow**: …

**MadScientist**: …

**Monta**: …

**YaoiLover**: …

**Shadow**: …

**MayuMayu**: …

**MayuMayu**: … _We don't._

**SushiSGood**: Sushi, everyone?

**_- Fin –_**

* * *

_Aside from those indicated, everything else is in E-mail form._

_Hope it didn't cause a few headaches to those who were reading this._

**_Read and Review._**


End file.
